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Regain Desire and feel like teenagers

Improve differences in Sex Drive and mismatch libidos with counseling

Struggling with Mismatched Libidos? Let’s Rediscover Intimacy together.

Ever feel like you and your partner are on completely different pages when it comes to sex?

One of you is thinking
“Sex is the last thing on my mind.”

The other?
“Maybe tonight’s the night.”

One is waiting to feel desire.

The other is waiting to be desired.
One shrugs it off.
The other feels rejected.

And that gap? It’s no longer just a difference—it’s starting to feel like a wall between you.

Sex shouldn’t feel like a chore.

Sex is supposed to be:

✔ Something you want.
✔ Fun, exciting, maybe even a little adventurous.
❌ Not something you push to the bottom of your to-do list.

Maybe in the beginning, things were different… You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, or maybe you never really had that spark, but always wished you did.
“I’m just not in the mood.”
“I’m too tired.”
“Not right now.”

Sound familiar?

One of you is hoping for something more.
The other? Just hoping to fall asleep without feeling guilty.

You’ve tried to fix it—maybe you’ve:

✔ Planned date nights.
✔ Read articles.
✔ Even convinced yourself to just do it, hoping the spark will come back.

But nothing really changes.

A typical night looks like this: You both crash on the couch after a long day. Scroll on your phones. Watch a show. Crawl into bed. One of you is hoping for something more, while the other is just hoping to fall asleep without feeling guilty.

Ready to Schedule Your Session?

Or, would you rather start with a free 15-minute phone consult.

Breaking the Cycle: A 4-Step Healing Process

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You’re not stuck—this cycle can be broken, and intimacy can feel effortless again.

When sex rarely happens or stops altogether, it’s easy to mistake the lack of desire for a loss of attraction. This can create emotional distance—one partner feels undesired and unappreciated, while the other feels pressured and unsure of what’s wrong.

Great lovers are made, not born.

My advice as a Sex Therapist: How to rebuild intimacy and desire

A fulfilling sex life it’s about learning how to:

✔ Talk openly about sexual desire—without guilt or shame.
✔ Understand what’s behind your different libidos and how to navigate them together.
✔ Reconnect emotionally and physically—beyond just penetrative sex.
✔ Explore non-sexual intimacy to deepen closeness and connection.
✔ Develop strategies that help both partners feel desired and fulfilled.

A positive sexual experience strengthens emotional intimacy, creating a deeper, more fulfilling bond.

Through sex therapy, I’ve helped many couples rediscover intimacy by exploring new ways to connect, communicate, and rekindle desire—without pressure or rejection.

Addressing mismatched sex drives isn’t just about fixing a problem—it’s about understanding each other and building a relationship where both partners feel truly satisfied, both in body and heart.

Hi. I’m Vielka. A Certified Sex Therapist who knows what you’re going through.

At the beginning, everything was great—including sex. It was fun, spontaneous, and there was a lot of it. But after a couple of years, something changed. I didn’t want to have sex anymore. I grew up in Costa Rica, a catholic country and I had no idea how to fix it.

I started doing it just for my partner, but honestly, it felt like I was doing him a favor. Saying “no” didn’t make him happy, and saying “yes” didn’t make me happy. Sex was no longer enjoyable, and our emotional intimacy began to suffer.

I felt terrible as a partner. I lost desire and didn’t know how to bring it back. It didn’t matter how many toys or lingerie I would buy. Nothing worked. I felt like giving up.

Then I learned that losing desire happens to a lot of couples. This made me feel better, but the problem was still there—and I had no idea how to fix it.

I reached a point where I thought, “I’m okay never having sex again.” Yes, it got that bad. Deep down, I craved the connection, excitement, and aliveness that sex brings, but I had no idea how to make that happen.

But I didn’t give up and I embarked on a journey that led me to become a Certified Sex Therapist through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

I discovered the tools I needed, and my intimacy became absolutely AMAZING! Now I know how to create mind-blowing orgasms and keep desire alive over time. I’m passionate about sharing what I’ve learned and helping others transform their sexuality through self-love and healing.

Frequently Asked Questions

Any additional questions? We are here to answer…

Why Does a Libido Mismatch Occur?

After supporting couples as a sex therapist, I’ve learned that sexuality is complex, and desire is influenced by many factors, including:

✔ Physical health and hormones
✔ Stress, anxiety, and mental well-being
✔ Relationship dynamics and communication
✔ Past experiences and body image
✔ Emotional and non-sexual intimacy

Understanding these influences is the first step toward rebuilding connection.

If My Partner Doesn’t Get in the Mood, Does That Mean They’re No Longer Attracted to Me?

When sex becomes infrequent or stops altogether, it’s easy to mistake a lack of desire for a lack of attraction. This can create emotional distance—one partner feels undesired and unappreciated, while the other feels pressured and unsure of what’s wrong.

The truth? A lower sex drive doesn’t mean a lack of attraction.

How to Communicate Your Sexual Frustrations

Communication is key to navigating mismatched libidos. Couples should openly discuss their desires, boundaries, and emotional needs to find a solution that works for both.

However, when and how you communicate matters. I recommend having these discussions during a walk or in a relaxed setting—rather than right before intimacy, when emotions might be heightened.

Using “I” statements can help express feelings without blame or defensiveness. For example:

✔ “I feel frustrated when we don’t have sex as often as I’d like.” (Encourages open dialogue).
❌ “You never want to have sex with me.” (Can make your partner feel attacked or pressured).

A supportive, understanding approach helps create a space where both partners feel heard, validated, and willing to work together.

3 steps to get started

Step 1

Schedule a free consult

Get your questions answered and learned how you will be helped in this 15 min consultation.

Step 2

Begin sessions

Scheduled a full 50 min session where you will learn tools and have exercises to practice at home to grow quick and steady.

Step 3

Individualized plan

We will create a unique strategy that works for your specific needs and addresses the challenges you need support with.

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